This is your life.
I get a little uncomfortable when people tell me they’re jealous of my life or that they’re really impressed by what I’m doing: as far as I’m concerned, all I’m doing is living life, no matter where in the world I happen to be.
I’m very happy with the life I’m living, and I’m very grateful that the stars have aligned to give me so many opportunities: being in the right place at the right time and knowing the right people has paid off ten-fold when it’s come to where I live, what I do and the experiences I’ve been able to have.
But I strongly believe that we are all living exactly the lives we want. If you want something badly enough—enough to work for it, enough to sacrifice for it, enough to take risks for it, enough to throw out everything you’ve known and loved in order to go after it—you will get it.
I constantly tell myself “this is your life” and conjure up a mental image of the Holstee Manifesto—it’s the background on my iPhone, a constant reminder to turn off the TV (or sign out of Facebook), get lost, enjoy my meal, to get out of bed as soon as the sun starts shining through my window, and DO something.
This isn’t to say that I’m supremely confident or constantly smiling. Traveling is frustrating: not being able to communicate because of language barriers, or get comfortable on a 12-hour bus ride, or let your guard down when carrying every one of your most prized possessions in a crowd. Being alone can be liberating, but it can also be lonely: some days, you just need someone to tell you it’s all going to be OK (and not just via Twitter).
More often than not, I’m freaking out. My best friends deal with a constant stream of my anxiety: am I doing enough? What am I contributing? Is this worth it? I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, and I’m not sure what I’m passionate about: is it enough to be passionate about wandering around a new city, taking pictures of graffiti and eating from street carts? Does your passion have to be something you can monetize or can it just be something you enjoy with your whole heart?
I can hardly sit still long enough to book my next plane ticket, but I’m only 23: you’re allowed to be (possibly even expected to be) delightfully short-sighted and pleasure-seeking and irresponsible in your early 20s. Or at least, that’s what I keep telling my parents as I promise to figure things out when I a) run out of money or b) turn 25.
One of my resolutions for 2012 was to stop saying that I’m jealous. It’s been a remarkable perspective changer: when I’m about to say I’m jealous (particularly when I’m about to put it in writing, whether in an email or on social media), I stop myself and analyze my feelings. More often than not, I’m not jealous: I’m happy for the other person, and I’m happy about wherever I am. If I realize I’m envious of someone else (more often, having a “wish-I-was-there” moment) too often–that means I need to reevaluate where I am and how I can get to where I want to be.
My other resolutions included going to Croatia and traveling with a friend from home. Tickets have been booked: June 2012 will see me sipping wine in Paris with a girlfriend from Nice, cruising through Croatia with Busabout and an awesome sorority friend, and soaking up the sun in Nice with former co-workers. And then I’m flying to Las Vegas to kick off an epic overland journey to New York City with my favorite Australian road trip buddy. Financially, it might not be the wisest decision. But when an opportunity arises (and friends want to go to beautiful places with you, including exploring your own backyard): you take it. Because this is your life, and you only live once.
Remember: whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. So live your dream, and share your passion.
