Notes on new year’s resolutions (or lack thereof)
I’ve always made New Year’s resolutions. I have written them on index cards and in blog posts, and they have ranged from large, sweeping concepts (be kind) to quotidian habits (floss every day).
I’ve always needed to-do lists in order to get anything done: if it is not scribbled on a piece of paper and then decisively crossed out, it feels as if it never happened. New Year’s Resolutions are like my daily to-do lists, except on a grander (and often more public) scale.
But this year, I’m not making any.
I wrote down what I was going to do more of in 2015 around this time last year, and then promptly forgot about it in the chaos of life. That’s not to say I wasn’t successful in them: when I realized that the year was coming to a close, I went back and read them and was pleased to find that I had, in fact, accomplished most of them.
I let go of travel expectations—and I still traveled just as much, if not more, than usual. I took a TM course and meditated most mornings. Although I didn’t always have cash, I had it more often and I made to sure to have some whenever I got my nails done.
Another year just comes down to another succession of 365 days.
Every morning, I choose whether to hit the snooze button to snuggle or to get out of bed and hop in the shower so that I can do a 20-minute meditation. After work, I decide whether to go grocery shopping so that I can pack my lunches for the week, or to grab drinks with a friend and succumb to eating out the next noon. There are nights when I’m exhausted and I still floss and wash/tone/moisturize my face, and there are other times when I brush my teeth and use a makeup wipe and call it a night.
I’m not searching for any grand, overarching changes. I’m not looking to turn my life around. That’s not to say I’m perfect: my boyfriend knows I could be more patient and less overreactive, my best friend and my mom will tell you I could be more entrepreneurial, and I know I could watch less TV and go to the gym more.
But more or less, I’m happy where I am and confident in the direction I’m heading. I’m pleased of what I’ve accomplished and excited about what’s to come. I’ve created a life I love, and it takes intention every day to keep creating and keep living it.
In 2016, I want to feel good about my actions. I want to break down the year into the moments and the choices. I’ve never regretted going to the gym or flossing my teeth, doing a nice thing for the people I love or smiling at a stranger on the subway: those things have all made feel good in happy, healthy, fulfilling way.
So that’s all I want to do this year. More of the good stuff. Less of the bad. All of the joy.
