Notes on having it all
Whereas previous generations of women might have been raised to be wives and mothers, it feels like today we grow up aiming to have it all: career, relationship, kids, house, and Instagram-envy-inducing vacations as the cherry on top.
There is a lot said in our society about having it all. It’s almost always in reference to women, and usually in reference to women with children, and even more so when it comes to women with children AND a career. (It is rarely said in reference to men because it is assumed that men can simultaneously be bosses and fathers, likely because of the support that comes in female forms like assistants and wives. But I digress.)
What I’ve realized, though, is that you can only be in one place at a time: physically, mentally, emotionally. You cannot have it all, all the time.
When I am at a work event, I am not on a date with my boyfriend. When I am drinking wine with a group of girlfriends, I am not cleaning my house. When I am writing a mental to-do list in my head during yoga, I am not relaxing and breathing and doing the thing that I came to yoga to do. When I am traveling, I am not in the office. When I’m taking care of the puppy, my multi-tasking has to cease: there are only so many other things I can do while also keeping an eagle eye on a little creature who is prone to peeing on the floor or chewing on the couch.
And that’s OK. I’m only one person, not a brand or a business or whatever else bloggers are sometimes assumed to be. I can only do so many things, especially if I want to do them well. I may have 24 hours in the day, but I am not Beyonce: I do not have a litany of assistants and a stockpile of cash. (Because as my grandmother used to say: the only people who say money doesn’t matter are the rich.)
Having it all (and assuming that it will always be) is an impossible standard to set. The nature of life is one of ebbs and flows, ups and downs. There are time when it feels as if everything has come together–and then, the fear of having it all to lose. There are times when it feels like there are still puzzle pieces yet to find and fit in.
Instead of having it all, I want to focus on having the things I love–and savor them while I have them.
p.s. being lucky and being authentic.
