Notes on the fourth trimester
When I think back to the first few months after having Jojo, it’s all a bit of a blur. I do feel very lucky that I didn’t struggle with any serious postpartum depression or anxiety. Although I was definitely emotional and exhausted, I was mostly overcome with a lot of gratitude and joy and love. There were definitely moments of “wait, WTF did we do to our lives” and grieving our carefree, childless life, but mostly–we were able to settle into a pretty good groove with Jojo.
Some of the best early advice that we got was from David’s uncle, and it’s some that we have since shared with new parent friends: “Remember to play. There will be hard moments, lack of sleep, uncertainties, but also great joy.” And for me, part of that joy was also to remember the things that I loved before having a baby: I tried to make time to read (often while pumping!), and to get out of the house once a day. Often that would be to go on a stroller walk at the beach, or to give her a stroller nap in a museum, or just to pick up some things at the farmers market or Target. It made a world of difference in my mental health to get out and do things, and to not feel like having a baby meant I was trapped in my house or just constantly scrolling through my phone. Alas! This post is kind of a random smattering of all of the baby things that worked well for us in those early days. If there is something you’re interested in learning more about, just leave me a comment and I can likely do a separate post on it!
Immediately after coming home from the hospital, I highly recommend a long, hot shower. After three nights in the hospital and feeling like my body was completely foreign to me, this really made me feel like myself again. I also recommend getting your bathroom set up with all of the very unsexy essentials: namely, all of the ice packs and mesh underwear you managed to take from the hospital. I also highly, highly recommend the Frida Mom Postpartum Essentials Kit and the Always Discreet Postpartum Underwear. Buy these when you are setting up your hospital go-bag so they are ready and waiting when you are back!
Books & Resources
One of my friends swore by the Moms On Call method, and gifted me the Moms On Call 0-6 Months book–and now I too swear by the Moms On Call method. We used it primarily for the sleep and schedules, but if I ever had a question about anything (reactions to vaccines? her poop seems weird? how to swaddle?), this simple, straightforward book (and their YouTube) was my first stop. It’s definitely not the right method for everyone, but if you are (like me!) very much driven by routines and find that a schedule quells anxiety rather than produces it, I cannot recommend it enough. We loosely put Jojo on a “schedule” at two weeks old, and she has been a champion eater and champion sleeper since the get-go–I give a lot of credit to Moms on Call for her sleeping through the night by three months, and generally helping us be better rested and more relaxed.
I swore by Expecting Better when I was pregnant, and found it very helpful to have Emily Oster’s Cribsheet on hand for all of the early baby dilemmas. It goes all the way through toddlerhood, covering topics like vaccinations, daycare philosophies and potty training. I read it while I was pregnant, but it’s nice to keep around and flip through when I have a question. A similar approach for the other parenting book that I read and loved while pregnant: Bringing Up Bebe!
Eating & Drinking
One of the best things I did in my third trimester was to freezer prep a different meal every weekend. I wasn’t traveling, so had plenty of weekends at home and this was an easy project to do each Saturday and Sunday.
These freezer breakfast burritos were probably the best ratio of satisfaction for investment of time and money. It took less than an hour, and I had about 15 easy breakfast/late morning snack/lunch meals that were ready in less than three minutes. I actually made two batches, and they were real lifesavers in the early days. They were a little more delicious and more filling topped with a half an avocado, a dollop of sour cream and a bit of hot sauce–so I did try to keep those on hand as well.
I also loved these lactation cookies. I would bake them in batches of five or six whenever I had the oven turned on so that I usually had a tupperware of them on the kitchen counter. They were *very* tasty (I kept David from eating them by saying they were my boob cookies!), and just filling enough: the perfect snack when I was pumping at 2am, or when I woke up and didn’t have time to make breakfast before I had to feed the baby.
I’m a big fan of the Alison Roman lasagne recipe, and I made two of them in the weeks leading up to the baby: we’d have it for dinner that night, and then I would freeze single portions in freezer ziploc bags after I cooked it OR prep them in three single-use foil trays to bake after. (Note: this was also a favorite recipe to make for friends who recently had a baby. I would keep one foil tray at home for my own dinner that night, and drop them off to either be frozen or baked at a friend’s!)
I loved the Real Food for Pregnancy book, and the chicken curry recipe was easy to make and then freeze in two-serving freezer bags. I made a couple of other veggie curries as well as a way to use up my fresh CSA vegetables to enjoy later. I also stocked up on Trader Joe’s Frozen Rice: I used to swear by these in college, and they were great to have on hand to eat with the curries. They only take about three minutes to heat up in the microwave.
One thing to keep in mind: our freezer was FULL. It paid dividends in the coming months, but when my parents came to visit right when the baby was born, we literally did not have any space for the groceries they brought and they had to go to our neighbor’s and ask to use their freezer while we were still in the hospital. So! Just be aware of how much space you actually have–this is a great time to clean out any frozen vegetables or ice cream that’s been taking up room.
Late in my third trimester, I also made a Costco run and stocked up on a bunch of healthy snacks. Basically, my goal was to for our kitchen to *always* have something easy, quick and healthy on hand. A few things I was very glad to have: Kodiak high-protein instant oatmeal, Bobo’s oat bites, noosa yogurts, and NuTrail keto blueberry cinnamon granola. I also always tried to pick up berries or oranges so that I could have easy-to-eat fruit handy.
Supplements
It’s tough to know what supplements worked and what were just snake oil, but alas: I will say that I thought my emotions and energy were surprisingly level and good despite functioning on very little sleep and wildly fluctuating hormones. So although I don’t know how much they help, I don’t think any of them hurt!
I took two spoonfuls of Milk Moon Postpartum Restorative Tonic every day for the first two months, and again, can’t make any big claims to its efficacy BUT it tasted very good so I do recommend.
This is the one that I actually do think is really important if you are pumping or breastfeeding is Legendairy Milk Sunflower Lecithin. Granted, I quickly learned that I was prone to clogged ducts, and realized that if I skipped this: I could tell! I also took Legendairy Milk Liquid Gold and moringa, both of which were recommended by my lactation consultant.
And in more controversial things: I had my doula encapsulate my placenta, so I took that twice a day as well. Allegedly, it helps with mood regulation and milk supply! When my doula came to drop these off, she also brought things for belly binding and OMG THIS I LOVED SO MUCH. After I gave birth, I felt like all of my internal organs had moved around and were all jumbled up: belly binding immediately helped me feel more like myself again. It is really just like a giant Ace bandage, but having her show us how to do it was super helpful–I had David help me do this twice a day for the first couple of weeks after giving birth.
Exclusive Pumping
One of the things I decided before giving birth was that I did not want to nurse. I believe that breastfeeding is natural and wonderful and a fantastic choice for many moms, but I really had no desire. This blog post on formula feeding from day one had a big impact on me, but ultimately, I decided to exclusively pump. Basically, Jojo was 100% fed by breast milk but in bottles from day one (until she was five months old–we’re now transitioning her fully over to bobbie formula, which I love–it’s organic, European-style and doesn’t have any corn syrup, palm oil or pesticides).
I knew this going into labor, so I printed out a sign that said “Mother is exclusively pumping – do not attempt to latch” to put up in my hospital room. This was very helpful to have and to point to, especially since I gave birth in a pro-breastfeeding hospital so every nurse who came in asked about my latch and if the baby was feeding.
I hemmed and hawed the longest time over what pump to get, but I ultimately went with the Spectra S1. It was a little more expensive than the S2 but it’s rechargeable, which means you’re not tied to sitting near an outlet: this ended up being HUGE for me, as I got used to pumping on the couch, in the backyard and in the car. We did not have to hem and haw over bottles because our friend gave us a bunch of Dr. Brown’s wide-neck bottles that were fantastic–we just had to get new nipples for newborns!
My one regret is not bringing my actual pump with me to the hospital when I gave birth. It’s kind of tricky to get the hang of, and I ended up needing a smaller flange size: I wish that I had been able to ask the lactation consultant in the hospital more questions on the actual pump I was going to use.
As with all things, exclusive pumping has its pros and cons: it takes a lot of time (it’s recommended to pump 120 minutes a day to get your supply up and leveled), it needs a lot of stuff (pumping bra, extra flanges, therapy packs, nipple butter, this breastmilk cooler that was an actual lifesaver a million times over when on the go, button-up nightgowns for easy middle-of-the-night pumping, the list goes on), and it can be kind of stressful to be pumping while a baby is crying or when you realize you’re running late and you don’t have all of your pumping stuff. BUT it also means your baby is getting all of the nutrients of breast milk AND you can share the feeding responsibilities with your partner. This was huge for me–I didn’t want to be the only food source for Jojo. I wanted to have some freedom and independence, and I also wanted her to be comfortable with other people.
In hindsight, I don’t know if I would choose to exclusively pump or formula feed from day one if I had to do it again. Pumping definitely led to some extra stress and strain on my mental health, but Jojo definitely thrived, which was very rewarding. And I also had her at the peak of the formula shortage, which made that option a lot less appealing or at least–a lot less certain. I’m proud that we made it to five months, and I’m also VERY happy that she is now thriving on bobbie formula and I am free to sleep through the night!
Baby Items
I feel like I spent all of the evenings in my last trimester on the couch reading online reviews about things to buy for the baby: truly, over-researched so much, but the upside is that I am so happy with all of our *big* purchases!
We are especially big fans of our Nuna travel system. David’s sister had a Nuna carseat for her baby, and when David helped set it up at Christmas, he immediately said that we had to get one. Car seats are notoriously difficult to install, but this truly is a cinch. We went with the tavo next and pipa lite r and are SO happy with both the car seat and the stroller. We also bought a pipa lite rx car seat to travel with (or if we ever need to pop her car seat in a friend’s car or an Uber) since you don’t need the (heavy) base: you can easily buckle it right in to the car, and it easily works with our stroller.
The other big thing that I agonized over was diapers. I really really did not want to do disposable diapers because of the impact on the environment, but cloth diapers also felt like a big chore (and David was very against it from a convenience standpoint). We met in the middle with Dyper compostable bamboo diapers and I really can’t express how happy I am with the decision. We have the Dyper compostable wipes and diaper pail bags, and every two weeks, someone picks up the full bags to be composted! It’s also an easy subscription model where new diapers and wipes are just sent to your house every month.
And as I mentioned, we currently are bobbie formula subscribers. One way that I’ve described it is that breast milk is straight from the farm (as fresh as it gets!) and mass market formula is like McDonald’s (lots of preservatives and unknown ingredients) and bobbie is like the farmers’ market: organic, no palm oil, no corn syrup, no pesticides.
We also got a Baby Bjorn bouncer as a hand-me-down from a friend and we use it SO much: Jojo would chill in there every morning when I took a hot shower, and so I am most grateful for this bouncer for allowing me to start every feeling fresh and like myself. We also had the Baby Bjorn carrier, which has also been a real lifesaver when she is super fussy.
Getting Jojo all dressed up is truly one of my favorite things and although she has been very spoiled with gifts from friends (and SO many cute hand-me-downs from our neighbor–their daughter is five months older, so we have been reaping the benefits), my go-to sources for baby clothes are Primary (get 25% off your first order with this link) and Target (Cat & Jack is especially fun). Target’s Cloud Island brand is also my favorite for things like crib sheets and baby bath towels. So many cute things at very affordable price points!
And while this isn’t exactly a baby item, I am very pleased with the Artifact Uprising Baby Book for Jojo’s first year. I love the quality of all Artifact Uprising products, and this is no exception: it’s been a fun thing to put together with new little photos and stories from each month.
Gifts
I was never too sure of the best gift to give new parents right when a baby is born, and now I can tell you: it’s food, but also food that is flexible enough to a) bend to wildly fluctuating schedules, b) be ready to eat pretty much instantly or c) be frozen to use at a later point. I am *so so so* grateful to all of our friends who inundated us with texts and love and also delicious, delicious food in the days following Jojo’s birth.
My friend who used to be a doula (and postpartum chef!) sent me a week of Territory Foods made specifically for postpartum: nutrient-rich and easily digestible. You can also choose keto, plant-based, vegetarian–pretty much any nutritional guideline you desire! Here is $50 off your first order if you’re interested in trying them out–they aren’t cheap, but they are super healthy and ready in two minutes.
Our Brooklyn-based friends sent us three Motorino pizzas from Goldbelly, and oh man–these hit the SPOT. Ready in ten minutes and a true slice of New York City living. I remember the first day that we were on our own with Joanna at 3pm just going…I’m absolutely starved, what do we have to eat?! And David popped one of these in the oven, and it was perfect.
I am generally not a big soup person, but Spoonful of Comfort lived up to its name: chicken noodle soup that was ready in a few minutes on the stove, along with biscuits and chocolate cookies that we absolutely gobbled down. One of the things that I really liked about this was that it was easy to freeze–it came with two servings for two people, and we ended up freezing one of them and defrosting a few weeks later when we weren’t swimming in food gifts.
In case you missed it: Notes on pregnancy and What I packed in my hospital bag (+ bonus birth story)!
Anything I missed? Feel free to comment below if you have any questions or future baby-related posts you’d like to see!
